I think Marissa is a little stuck right now. Part of it is just her 4-yr-old attitude and feisty personality, but I think there's more to her defiance and temper than we realize. She is so wonderful with Taylor, she loves her sister so much. She takes something wild out on us though, me in particular. She sees how much time Taylor needs from me, and that Taylor never gets in trouble, and I'm sure there's some hostility in her as a result of everything. I don't think she understands what she's feeling, or how to manage her emotions. When she's good she's golden, I could eat her up with a spoon. But when she's bad, oh she puts me over the edge, and she knows it.
The social worker gave me the names of some counsellors who come to the house and who do play therapy. That sounds interesting for sure, I'm going to look into this more. If it can help Marissa, I'm all for trying.
We talked about a book or a poster or something that has many different faces...a happy face, a sad face, an angry face, etc. And using it to have Marissa show us what face she feels like. And then talk to her about it, let her know it's okay to feel sad or angry, or whatever, let her know what actions/reactions are okay and what are not and give her some tools to manage that feeling.
We also talked about how children like having something to look forward to. They will associate a day with an activity. Like she knows that Saturday she goes to gymnastics. So to build on that make a calendar for Marissa with each day of the week with an activity or something special that happens on each day. It will give her a tool where she can keep track of the days of the week and that she has things to look forward to. And to build on that, make special time without Taylor that's just for Mommy & Marissa, so she knows that she's just as as important.
Tools to start using. Counselling to look into. Work to do. Need to take care of my other little girl.
you are such an amazing mom :)
ReplyDeleteyour daughters are lucky to have you xoxoxoxox