Be Aware

I'm going to share a post with you that I recently read by Kelle Hampton, a blogger I follow enthusiastically, whose youngest daughter has Down Syndrome. When I read her post on World Down Syndrome Awareness Day, what she said really resonated with me. While most of the following words are Kelle's, they are also very, very much mine.

Having a child with special needs, I am consequently more sensitive to degrading words people use—words like retarded. I’ve used it in the past—not purposefully meant to degrade, of course—but in passing when I’ve done something without thinking. Or in referring to something completely ridiculous. It’s amazing how many times I’ve heard this word since Taylor's journey began—usually thrown out in the same way, not meant to demean anyone, and it has taken me awhile to figure out how I feel about it. Obviously, yes, it’s a word that is used frequently to degrade people with disabilities and for this reason, it shouldn’t be a part of someone’s vocabulary as a silly way to refer to yourself when you’ve mindlessly attempted something. There are campaigns within the special needs community to end this word, and I join them because I support this cause not only for my child, but for others’ as well. But the word exists, not only as a demeaning term, but as a medical expression too. And I am informed of what it really means—before society notoriously went and made a mess of it. With that said, the word “retarded” means slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development.

My point is, throwing out “the R-word” is usually done in ignorance, and the fact that the word used inappropriately is meant to refer to a lack of intelligence is well, ironic. So, I guess this is all suffice to say, out of kindness and respect for everyone and the way this word is degradingly used, please remove the existence of this word from your vocabulary and teach your children to do the same.

Pay attention to the person, the child, the soul—not the wheelchair, the difference. Allow yourself to be astonished—to learn something new from someone, to be inspired, to laugh, to enjoy a moment. And then pass it on. Spread your awareness message by the way you live, the way you speak and the way you treat people.

I know what it feels like to be the mother of a special needs child, and it is in that role that I have felt fueled to advocate more fiercely for her rights. Sometimes it takes wearing the shoes or wondering what it would be like to wear the shoes of a tsunami victim, a mother with cancer, a soldier's wife, or the parent of a child with a special need to force us to be more compassionate. A child must understand the concept of "self" before he learns to share; so it is a person must wonder what it would feel like to personally experience something to be truly altruistic. I hope that reading this blog has perhaps allowed you to feel the challenges and joys of raising a child with special needs. And, in doing so, I hope you are more aware of every individual's capabilities and maybe, your own as well. Thank you again for reading, for sharing, for being part of our journey.